L.A. Crime Wave: Marlon Wayans Tells Thieves ‘I Don’t Have Anything Valuable’ After Home Burglary
Marlon Wayans/YouTube
Comedian Marlon Wayans was shocked to find his L.A.-area home had been the target of home invaders but, in his typical way, found some grim humor in the situation.
In a July 4 Instagram post to his 6.9 million followers, Wayans noted that his home was broken into and robbed, but he joked that the robbers were wasting their time looking for loot — because the only thing of value in his home is the property itself.
“Dear robbers and others,” he wrote in the caption to his Instagram message. “I am the wrong n***** to rob. Save your energy. I don’t have anything valuable in my house except my house.”
Wayans went on to describe his modest lifestyle, writing, ” Sorry, i live a simple life with 2 cats and one of them is a 1994 Range Rover, you will need a jumpstart if you steal it cuz the battery is dead.”
“Robbers don’t waste your energy or your life doing home invasions, shit is too heavy!” the actor joked. “You want to carry all that bullshit? Throw your back out, and for what?! I repeat I don’t own shit valuable. I don’t have a bunch of cash or jewelry. Please pick a better target thank you and love you… still.”
In the video he attached to the post, he reiterated that he doesn’t own fancy stuff. He pointed out that he doesn’t wear jewelry and is not “flashy” in the least.
He also thanked his friends for checking on him after the crooks struck.
Wayans is far from the only member of the Hollywood elite to suffer a home burglary.
Just last month, A-lister Goldie Hawn appeared on Kelly Rippa’s podcast and railed about how the home she shares with actor Kurt Russell has been robbed not once, but twice. And Hawn called Los Angeles a “terrible” city.
Other celebrities who have suffered home invasions include Farrah Aldjufrie, the daughter of actress Kyle Richards, John Wick star Keanu Reeves, Instagram model Abigail Ratchford, Rapper Megan Thee Stallion, Actor and business mogul Arsenio Hall, and a long list of others.
The home of L.A. Mayor Karen Bass was even robbed in April.
The general discomfort and lack of safety of living in L.A. has sent a separate list of celebrities to flee the area and move away. Big names include Jim Carrey, Mark Wahlberg, Sylvester Stallone, Rob Schneider, Joe Rogan and Matt Damon have fled the once-golden state in recent years — with many putting their roots down in Nevada and Texas and elsewhere on the proviso they were living anywhere but within the confines of LA.
Wayans recently went viral for a Daily Show bit where he interviewed Georgia lawyer Nathan Wade about his relationship with Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis, cracking sex joke after sex joke about the pair who attempted to prosecute former president Donald Trump.
In November 2023, the actor said his son had become transgender, and he has arrived at “complete unconditional love and acceptance” of the change.
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