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A new poll shows that today’s parents are reinventing the definition of their “village” when it comes to raising their children.

The survey results gathered from 2,000 parents of kids under 7, showed that 86% believe they have a different type of support system today than their own parents did.

78% agreed that the definition of a village—or support system—is, indeed, different today than when they were growing up.

Respondents recall spending most of their time growing up with grandmothers (60%), grandfathers (41%), aunts (51%) and uncles (41%) as well as their parents’ best friend (38%).

In total, they can remember an average of eight different people being regularly involved in their lives as children—and fully 86% are still in contact with their formative ‘village’ people.

But as parents themselves, they are relying less often on relatives.

Mothers (54%) and fathers (34%) still represent the biggest support beam for parents today, but one-third are most often likely to lean on their friends—with just 29% leaning on aunts or uncles.

24% of parents surveyed said their ‘inner circle’ includes the friends they made after having children, and 83% recalled times when their child made a new friend which resulted in a friendship between their parents.

Conducted by Talker Research on behalf of The Goddard School, the survey revealed that 43% believe parenting today is more difficult than it was for their parents.

Maybe that’s why 47% are choosing to lean on their family more often than their own parents did, but the biggest reason (chosen by 41% of those) was their desire for a deep family connection.

– Tyler Nix

On the flip side, over a quarter in the survey (27%) said they rely less often on family members for support than their parents did—for several reasons:

• not having a close relationship with their family (33%)
• family members with responsibilities may be too busy to help (32%)
• making the conscious decision to do things differently and lean on their family less (25%)

Others (31%) turn to parents because they and their partner work full-time, while 29% admit they rely on mom or dad because it is more cost-effective.

The good news is that children are still reaping the benefits of their villages. The vast majority (87%) believe their support system has improved the development of their child’s social and emotional skills.

The added support also enables parents to spend more quality time with their child (36%), complete tasks like cooking, cleaning or errands (33%), and be a better, more present parent (31%).

“Raising children today is like steering a ship through a storm; it can be tumultuous and unnerving, and without a compass to guide your ship—or a strong support system to help with parenting—it’s easy to lose your way,” said Dr. Lauren Loquasto, senior vice president and chief academic officer at The Goddard School.

“I encourage all parents to take full advantage of their entire network, including their school and childcare provider, to help them navigate their parenting journey.”

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