A dishonest Stephen Colbert concluded his Wednesday monologue on CBS’s The Late Show by declaring that critics have no good criticisms of Vice President Kamala Harris and the best Fox News can do is portray her as anti-plastic straw.

Colbert also asserted that “Republicans may find it challenging to use their usual bag of tricks against Harris to attack her because House GOP leaders urged members to stop making race comments about Harris. Not great when you have to remind your employees not to do something that everyone knows is wrong. You never want to see a sign in a restaurant that says, 'Employees must wash hands, and less pooping in the sink.'”

 

 

By “wrong,” Colbert means refusing to put a happy face on what Joe Biden said four years ago when he selected Harris to be his running mate. That aside, Colbert continued, “Even Fox News is having trouble coming up with a good attack line against Harris. So far, this is the best they got.”

Colbert then played a trio of Fox News clips. One was of Steve Doocy recalling, “You know, a major liability for Kamala Harris. She wants to ban plastic straws.” Another featured Sean Hannity lamenting, “She wants to ban plastic straws. I love my plastic straw. I hate those paper straws.” Finally, Madison Ventures+ managing director Mitch Roschelle urged viewers “Don't forget, Kamala Harris is against plastic straws. So, you don't have to look beyond that as an economic policy.”

Colbert reacted, “That's the best you got? Really seems like you're grasping at something, I don't know what exactly. Although, when you think about it—although, when you think about it, it does make sense that Fox News would be obsessed with straws. After all, they suck.”

No, that’s not all they got. There’s also her stance on the border, crime, health care, energy, red meat consumption, listing her pronouns while also acknowledging that she was sitting at a table while wearing a blue suit, and foreign policy.

Colbert wants to use humor to make a partisan point, but he’s lying to his audience, making them less informed in the process. In that respect, he’s no different than Joy Reid.

Here is a transcript for the July 24 show:

CBS The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

7/24/2024

11:47 PM ET

STEPHEN COLBERT: Republicans may find it challenging to use their usual bag of tricks against Harris to attack her because House GOP leaders urged members to stop making race comments about Harris. Not great when you have to remind your employees not to do something that everyone knows is wrong. You never want to see a sign in a restaurant that says "Employees must wash hands, and less pooping in the sink." 

Even, just less, please. Anything. Even Fox News is having trouble coming up with a good attack line against Harris. So far, this is the best they got.

STEVE DOOCY: You know, a major liability for Kamala Harris. She wants to ban plastic straws.

SEAN HANNITY: She wants to ban plastic straws. I love my plastic straw. I hate those paper straws.

MITCH ROSCHELLE: Don't forget, Kamala Harris is against plastic straws. So, you don't have to look beyond that as an economic policy.

COLBERT: That's the best you got? Really seems like you're grasping at something, I don't know what exactly. Although, when you think about it— although, when you think about it, it does make sense that Fox News would be obsessed with straws. After all, they suck.