It was not official that Donald Trump would win the presidential election during The Daily Show’s live taping on Tuesday night on Comedy Central, but the writing was on the wall as the assembled cast struggled to deal the news as the guy with the bleep button got a workout.

First there was Troy Iwata, who was playing the role of a reporter at Trump’s headquarters and who was also dressed in a garbage bag, “The mood here is also very tense, Jon. People are really sick of all the positive signs and just want to find out the results so they can start the insurrection.”

Host Jon Stewart acted confused, “Wait, Trump seems to be doing well.”

 

 

Iwata answered, “Yeah, they don’t care. Win or lose, these people are going to take a shit on Nancy Pelosi’s desk again.”

The biggest meltdown of the night came about 23 minutes later as Stewart began, “Obviously, look, it's been a long road to the election. To get a better sense of our national mood, we turn to Desi Lydic with analysis of all the results that we've seen so far tonight.”

Lydic replied, “Thanks, Jon. [Bleep].”

Again, Stewart played the role of the straight man, “We don't—okay. But we don't have all the results in, so—”

 

 

This time, the bleep button guy was a little slow as Lydic ranted, “Well, so far we have the F and the C and the K and the ‘All y'all’ so I'm going to go out on a limb and project a U and fuck all [bleeps].”

Stewart again played the role of the optimist, “But there’s still information to come in.”

Lydic mocked the idea, “Oh, it's too close to call. Kamala is up in Iowa. I don't want to hear another pollster or James Carville from some subterranean basement in his LSU Tigers hat going, ‘I don't see how she can lose! Now let me just finish my gumbo and’ -- [multiple bleeps]!”

As the segment ended, Lydic reached for a bottle of wine and declared, “I'm going to get started on my Project 2025.”

Despite playing the part of the level-headed host, Stewart was anxious. Thankfully for him, the pie-in-the-sky lieutenant governor of Michigan, Garlin Gilchrist II, was there to cheer him up. Gilchrist painted a rosy picture of Kamala Harris’s chances, leading Stewart to ask him, “I've got to tell you something, sir. On a night where I'm looking for some positivity and some good news, you have brought it, my friend. You have brought it to me. You’ve given my heart a lift, you've made me feel good. I want to ask you, how is this even close in Michigan?”

He further asked, “Donald Trump called for a ban on all Muslims traveling to America and then goes to Dearborn and he's getting big votes in the Arab American community, all these different things. He's partnered with Elon Musk, who might be one of the bigger threats to Detroit's automaking industry. How is this so close?”

 

 

Gilchrist’s optimist required he not answer the question, “Well, let's take a deep breath, you know, the—still coming in, take a sip of water, we’re going to be okay. But look, I'm a Detroiter. Like, I was offended by what Donald Trump said about me as a Detroit voter... I've been talking to black men all across the state of Michigan in Detroit, in Flint, in Saginaw, and Grand Rapids, all across our state, and what I'm hearing from them is they are ready to be part of the future and they don't want a president who insults them.”

If there is one good thing that can be said about Jon Stewart, it is that while he desperately wanted Harris to win, he did not go down the path that led other liberals to worry that Tuesday’s election results mean democracy is over.

Stewart played a number of clips from the aftermath of the 2012, 2016, and 2020 elections to make a point that the post-election conventional wisdom that surrounds the losing side has proven to be wrong time and time again. Trying to buck up his despondent liberal audience, he concluded, “My point is this: [Bleep]! But this isn't the end! I promise you, this is not the end, and we have to regroup, and we have to continue to fight and continue to work day in and day out to create the better society for our children, for this world, this country that we know is possible. It's possible. That's our show for tonight. Tune in tomorrow, Desi Lydic will be your host.”

If this not being the end is good news for liberals, based on Tuesday night’s performance, Desi Lydic hosting Wednesday’s show is good news for conservatives.

Here is a transcript for the November 5 show:

Comedy Central The Daily Show Presents A Live Election Special With Jon Stewart: Indecision 2024: Nothing We Can Do About It Now

11/5/2024

11:03 PM ET

TROY IWATA: The mood here is also very tense, Jon. People are really sick of all the positive signs and just want to find out the results so they can start the insurrection.

JON STEWART: Wait, Trump seems to be doing well.

IWATA: Yeah, they don’t care. Win or lose, these people are going to take a shit on Nancy Pelosi’s desk again.

…

11:26 PM ET

STEWART: Obviously, look, it's been a long road to the election. To get a better sense of our national mood, we turn to Desi Lydic with analysis of all the results that we've seen so far tonight.

DESI LYDIC: Thanks, Jon. [Bleep]. 

STEWART: We don't —okay. But we don't have all the results in, so—

LYDIC: Well, so far we have the F and the C and the K and the "All y'all" so I'm going to go out on a limb and project a U and fuck all [bleeps].

STEWART: But there’s still information to come in.

LYDIC: Oh, it's too close to call. Kamala is up in Iowa. I don't want to hear another pollster or James Carville from some subterranean basement in his LSU Tigers hat going, "I don't see how she can lose! Now let me just finish my gumbo and" -- [multiple bleep]!

STEWART: We’re going to check back in on you, Desi.

LYDIC: Well, you make it quick because I'm going to get started on my Project 2025.

…

11:40

STEWART: I've got to tell you something, sir. On a night where I'm looking for some positivity and some good news, you have brought it, my friend. You have brought it to me. You’ve given my heart a lift, you've made me feel good. I want to ask you, how is this even close in Michigan? Donald Trump went to Detroit and said “this place is a hole.”

Donald Trump called for a ban on all Muslims traveling to America and then goes to Dearborn and he's getting big votes in the Arab American community, all these different things. He's partnered with Elon Musk, who might be one of the bigger threats to Detroit's automaking industry. How is this so close?

GARLIN CILCHRIST II: Well, let's take a deep breath, you know, the—still coming in, take a sip of water, we’re going to be okay. But look, I'm a Detroiter. Like, I was offended by what Donald Trump said about me as a Detroit voter. My wife, when they tried to call for a riot to stop the vote counting in 2020 he would talk about my wife's vote, my neighbor’s vote, my vote. So, I took it very personally and so do people across the city of Detroit. So, that is why the organizing effort has been so inspiring to see people step up, to see, you know, black men, you know, don't believe the hype for people trying to run and find black men who were hesitant. 

I've been talking to black men all across the state of Michigan in Detroit, in Flint, in Saginaw, and Grand Rapids, all across our state, and what I'm hearing from them is they are ready to be part of the future and they don't want a president who insults them. They don't want a president who can’t see their potential success, they don’t want a pessimistic patriot, they want an optimistic patriot, and that's what we have in Kamala Harris and Tim Walz and Elissa Slotkin to be our next United States Senator, so that’s the team we built in Michigan and I’m proud to be part of it.

…

11:58 PM ET

STEWART: Which led to an insurrection in the lesson from that was--

JOHN HEILEMANN: When Donald Trump leaves office on Wednesday morning he will leave Washington a pariah.

LAWRENCE O’DONNELL: Donald Trump will never be allowed to set foot in the capital again. Never.

STEWART: Ever. My point is this: [Bleep]! But this isn't the end! I promise you, this is not the end, and we have to regroup, and we have to continue to fight and continue to work day in and day out to create the better society for our children, for this world, this country that we know is possible. It's possible. That's our show for tonight. Tune in tomorrow, Desi Lydic will be your host.