After a three-week vacation, NBC’s Seth Meyers had a lot to catch up on Monday’s edition of Late Night. Amid various Olympic-themed analogies, Meyers was relieved that the election no longer feels “like a funeral dirge,” while he also reveled in the supposed idea that Kamala Harris and Tim Walz are driving Republicans “insane.”

Meyers recalled, “When I left this desk three weeks ago, suffice to say the vibes were brutal. The election felt like a funeral dirge. Trump was leading in national polls and seemed like he was coasting to victory.”

 

 

Now, however, “Fast forward to today, Harris is now leading in the polls, including new ones out from three key swing stages: Michigan, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin. If you told Democrats three weeks ago they'd be up four points in those three states before the end of August, they'd be twerking like a Canadian pole vaulter. By the way, was also awesome. And on top of all that, massive crowds are now waiting in lines to see Harris and Walz, mobbing her plane, and literally swag surfing at her rallies.”

Later, Meyers turned to Walz, “The very existence of Kamala Harris and Tim Walz is driving Trump insane, and it's revealed his true character for the world to see. That's why he's losing his mind at Kamala's poll numbers and crowd size. That's why the Republicans are desperately cycling through one nonsensical attack after another. For Walz, their latest is a dumb nickname that's probably not going to help them with women voters.”

After a trio of Fox News clips dubbing Walz “Tampon Tim,” Meyers claimed:

Republicans are flailing worse than me at Olympic break dancing. Just to clarify, Walz signed a bill into law providing free period products in public schools. It does not require them -- exactly. It does not require them in boy's bathrooms. Local districts have flexibility to decide where to put them and some, though not all, chose to include them in boy's bathrooms. And my response to that is ‘who cares?’ You think it's scandalizing for an eighth grade boy to see a tampon? 

The only mention of Walz's military controversies was a brief two-second bit in a recap Meyers rattled off all the news he missed when he was away in which, he called the matter "lies," but never cared to actually debunk them.

Here is a transcript for the August 12-taped show:

NBC Late Night with Seth Meyers

8/13/2024

12:46 AM ET

SETH MEYERS: When I left this desk three weeks ago, suffice to say the vibes were brutal. The election felt like a funeral dirge. Trump was leading in national polls and seemed like he was coasting to victory. Fast forward to today, Harris is now leading in the polls, including new ones out from three key swing stages: Michigan, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin. If you told Democrats three weeks ago they'd be up four points in those three states before the end of August, they'd be twerking like a Canadian pole vaulter. By the way, was also awesome. And on top of all that, massive crowds are now waiting in lines to see Harris and Walz, mobbing her plane, and literally swag surfing at her rallies.

…

MEYERS: The very existence of Kamala Harris and Tim Walz is driving Trump insane, and it's revealed his true character for the world to see. That's why he's losing his mind at Kamala's poll numbers and crowd size. That's why the Republicans are desperately cycling through one nonsensical attack after another. For Walz, their latest is a dumb nickname that's probably not going to help them with women voters.

SEAN HANNITY: They're calling him tonight "Tampon Tim."

REPORTER: A nickname for Tim Walz is "Tampon Tim."

JESSE WATTERS: Trump's running against a woke woman and a progressive VP named "Tampon Tim."

MEYERS: Republicans are flailing worse than me at Olympic break dancing. Just to clarify, Walz signed a bill into law providing free period products in public schools. It does not require them -- exactly. It does not require them in boy's bathrooms. Local districts have flexibility to decide where to put them and some, though not all, chose to include them in boy's bathrooms. And my response to that is who cares? You think it's scandalizing for an eighth grade boy to see a tampon? 

The worse thing that will happen is that they'll steal them, put them in their friend's locker as a joke and their friend will say, "Not cool, Mike." And they'll say, "Shut up, Dave." And then, the principal will come by and say, "Hey, those aren't toys. Now, stop being so weird and get to football practice." And they'll say, "Yes, Mr. Walz." 

Walz freaks out Republicans and Harris freaks out Trump because he can't stand the idea of anyone else getting more media attention or more crowds or more positive coverage. And now, he's once again claiming Democrats are cheating. Basically, Trump thinks he's getting screwed worse than a guy who's--

WATTERS: Having sex with a couch.