Unlike Jon Stewart, Jimmy Kimmel Live! guest host Martin Short did not react to Thursday’s Trump-Biden debate live, and from the perspective of ABC’s liberal audience, maybe that was a good thing because Short’s previously recorded rendition of Cranky Doodle, mocking Trump, would help them cope with Biden’s bad performance.

Short hosted as his character Jiminy Glick and mocked some Trump supporters’ priorities, “Why does Jimmy Kimmel have to be so one-sided? Why not talk about the issues that really matter? Like Hillary's emails, Benghazi, deep state Pizzagate. And where is Hunter? I'll tell you where! Having a threesome with Antifa and Taylor Swift.”

 

 

Keeping with the sarcasm, Short pretended to lament, “Jimmy's always punching down on Mr. Trump. But tonight, I want to lift him up—with a musical salute to a man whose only crime is trying to make America great again, again.”

Short then launched into a parody of Yankee Doodle complete with an Uncle Sam hat, on screen lyrics, and related images:

Cranky Doodle went to town to call the news a phony. Stuck white letters on red hats and called it MAGA-roni. Cranky Doodle you're so tan, Cranky Doodle Dandy. Stop the steal and lock her up and with the girls be handsy.

Cranky Doodle won't concede ´cause they rigged the election so they stormed the Capitol ´twas hardly insurrection. Cranky Doodle you're so smart, windmills do cause cancer, you're a stable genius and a very sexy dancer.

Cranky Doodle went to court to fight a crooked system, is it really Donald's fault that Stormy can't resist him. Cranky Doodle drained the swamp, got rid of all the leakers, built a mighty border wall in glitzy golden sneakers.

Cranky Doodle make us great, be the one who frees us, you're our bigly Burger King, our sweet Orange baby Jesus.  Cranky Doodle has our vote, by your side we're standin' go and take the White House back and we'll shout let's go Brandon.

Go and take the White House back and we'll shout let's go Brandon. 

As Short concluded, Kimmel’s sidekick, Guillermo Rodriguez, joined him on stage waving an American flag in a bald eagle costume while confetti streamers fell from the ceiling. Unfortunately for Short and his viewers, voters are more likely to make their decisions based on the debate than a parody song, and the sugar high of such a song will quickly wear off.

Here is a transcript for the June 27 show:

ABC Jimmy Kimmel Live!

6/27/2024

11:41 PM ET

MARTIN SHORT [AS JIMINY GLICK]: Why does Jimmy Kimmel have to be so one-sided? Why not talk about the issues that really matter? Like Hillary's emails, Benghazi, deep state Pizzagate. And where is Hunter? I'll tell you where! Having a threesome with Antifa and Taylor Swift. 

And Jimmy's always punching down on Mr. Trump. But tonight, I want to lift him up —with a musical salute to a man whose only crime is trying to make America great again, again. 

Cranky Doodle went to town to call the news a phony. Stuck white letters on red hats and called it MAGA-roni. Cranky Doodle you're so tan, Cranky Doodle Dandy Stop the steal and lock her up and with the girls be handsy.

Cranky Doodle won't concede ´cause they rigged the election so they stormed the Capitol ´twas hardly insurrection. Cranky Doodle you're so smart, windmills do cause cancer, you're a stable genius and a very sexy dancer.

Cranky Doodle went to court to fight a crooked system, is it really Donald's fault that Stormy can't resist him. Cranky Doodle drained the swamp, got rid of all the leakers, built a mighty border wall in glitzy golden sneakers.

Cranky Doodle make us great, be the one who frees us, you're our bigly Burger King, our sweet Orange baby Jesus.  Cranky Doodle has our vote, by your side we're standin' go and take the White House back and we'll shout let's go Brandon.

Go and take the White House back and we'll shout let's go Brandon.