S A T I R E

Following his victory in the Democratic Party primary, Zohran Mamdani is now the frontrunner for New York City mayor, and people are wondering what plans he may have in mind for the Big Apple.

Time Square? How about Red Square? / Video Image

[A DIA assessment of damage rendered to Iran’s nuclear site at Fodrow by the U.S. Air Force included the following list of proposals Mamdani has in store for NYC and was published by Babylon Bee. Coincidence? We don’t think so.]:

__ Times Square will be renamed Red Square: It will also be the official site of all mass executions going forward.

__ Creating special “camps” where the city’s Jewish population can be “concentrated”: It’s for their own good.

__Authorizing the development of state-run shoplifting centers: This is the clever outside-the-box thinking people need from their elected leaders.

__ Subway will be free for everyone: The underground transportation system and the sandwich shop.

__ The Yankees’ uniforms will now be rainbow striped: Just what the team needs to compete with the Dodgers in gayness.

__ Raise the minimum wage to $150,000 a year: Also, make it illegal for any business to close. This is how problems are solved.

__ Queens will be repopulated with Palestinian refugees: It’ll be easy once all the Jews are in the camps.

Sounds like an ambitious plan. What other proposals from Mamdani are you excited to see?

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