Saturday, 23 November 2024

Shock report: Dominion voting machines balk at processing votes for Harris


S A T I R E

Democratic Party leaders received yet another piece of bad news with the presidential election just over two weeks away, as they learned that even Dominion voting machines were now refusing to vote for Kamala Harris, according to a Babylon Bee report.

The vice president has seen her poll numbers fall in recent weeks as former President Donald Trump surged ahead in many national and swing state polls, leading to the startling report from Dominion Voting Sytems that even their electronic voting machines were now refusing to support Harris.

“You know it’s bad when even the pre-programmed voting machines won’t support her,” said one Dominion insider who spoke on the condition of anonymity.

“We’ve done everything we could possibly do on our end, but she’s apparently so unlikable that even the machines aren’t willing to cast their votes — or anyone else’s — for Kamala. … It’s fascinating and disappointing at the same time.” ….

Dominion programmers were left dumbfounded. “We’ve never run into this before,” the insider continued. “They’re machines. They do what they are programmed to do. Unfortunately, the Democrats decided to make Kamala Harris their candidate. No programming code is powerful enough to overcome that.” ….

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