Former DEI president of Harvard University and now DEI professor Claudine Gay began her recent paper titled "What Is a University? Purpose and Politics in Higher Education" with an acknowledgment to the stolen writing contained inside. The acknowledgement read: "Like all of you, I am on a twisty many-splendored journey to understand and honor those who can read and write so I don't have to. I acknowledge that ownership of academic work is a colonizer concept and existential threat to democracy. It is in this spirit that those who have written these brilliant thoughts and words I have claimed as my own shall be acknowledged, amen." According to insiders, the acknowledgment was written by ChatGPT.
But that's not all that happened last week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason. (Title headline by @stankystankowicz.)
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
DEI Professor Starts Paper With Stolen Research Acknowledgment @stankystankowicz
Kindergartener Sentenced To 13 Years Of School Lunches @kirgol
Democrat Party Founded In 1828 Passed Away Tuesday From A Sudden Unexpected Illness @gfanson
Man Makes Meth Healthy By Cooking It In Air Fryer @webidtheefarewell
Mitch McConnell Finally Back At Home From Rehab In Classic Urn @thebigfreeze
Husband Exhausted After DoorDash Grocery Pickup @ruthiej714
Pork Belly Futures In Nosedive After Ayatollya Wins Michigan Primary @carolyn1
Tragic: ICE Deports Mail Order Bride Before She Can Poison Husband And Steal His Fortune @yantelope
DNC Office In Washington, D.C. Converts Into A Mosque @twodegreesoff
Dad Looking Forward To Wearing His Flannel Cargo Shorts This Fall @drconservativeprof
Wisconsin Democrats On Track To Choose Wong Gubernatorial Candidate @annafillaxis
Young Couple Can't Decide If They Want To Save Up For A House Or A Burrito @dontslowtheearth
Homeschooler On First Day Of School Gets Lost Between First And Second Period @brothertim
There Can Never Be Peace Until Somebody Gets Whopped @clarkkent
RFK. Jr.'s Dog Gets Confronted For His Anti-Vacuum Stance @lpathehuman
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:
McConnell Doesn't Want To Recover Too Quickly As Slow And Steady Wins The Race @the_laodicean_post
WNBA Increases Number Of Women Coaches By Having Existing Coaches Wear Wig @howiescheer
Biblical Scholars Confirm, Manna Tenders Fell From Sky For Israelite Children 8yo And Under @cclaws
Government Puts Out Second Set Of Flock Cameras To Catch People Smashing The First Set Of Flock Cameras @baberahamlincoln
California To Address Income Disparity By Forcing Top 1% To Move Out Of State @greenlanternmd
Study Confirms Men Who Eat Bacon Less Likely To Have First Time Marriage With Nine-Year-Old Girl @giztips
AOC Freezes Eggs Hoping To Raise A Clump Of Cells One Day @kanesickle
WNBA Replaces Court With Octagon @dustynederlander
Man Achieves Immortality After Switching To Preservative-Full Diet @kirgol
Bonus - one randomly selected headline:
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments below.
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