The season of Lent is in full swing with many people giving up things they enjoy, like Brussels sprouts or exercising, to focus on the suffering of Christ for us. In this holy time, Mayor Mamdani is adding another layer of devotion for the faithful and unbelievers alike by insisting residents of New York City also give up something they like to the government, specifically money. With this initiative Mamdani will enable all his constituents to participate in the joyful suffering of collectivism from now until Easter 2030, or maybe 2034 if he is elected to a second term.
But that's not all that happened last week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason. (Title headline by @carolyn1.)
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
-
Gavin Newsom Heads To The Palisades To Celebrate Ash Wednesday @dontslowtheearth
Sinister Husband Chooses Route With The Most Roundabouts @kirgol
Chipotle Streamlines Dining Experience By Installing New Restaurant Seating: Tableside Toilets @njhokie84
Baptists Place Chick-fil-A Sauce On Forehead @twoplus2ischicken
Barrack Obama Backtracks And Now Admits He Has Met Aliens: Pelosi And DeLauro @thebigfreeze
AOC Says She Can See Taiwan And Venezuela From Her House @realschlemiel
Mamdani Insists New Yorkers Give Up Money For Lent @carolyn1
Report: Pharmaceutical Companies Use Recordings Of Drunken Kamala Spewing Word Salads To Create New Drug Names @drconservativeprof
Darn! We Should Have Called "No Takebacks" For Rosie And Ellen @littlejedi
New Yorkers Outraged To Discover Socialist They Elected Is A Socialist @slateslabrock
Local Cat Fails To Convince Owner 2nd Breakfast Is A Real Thing @ruthiej714
Scientists No Closer To Finding Something So Stupid That People Won't Buy It @yantelope
Musk Buys And Renames Bab-Elon Bee @mathyousee
Pious Cat Gives Up Go-gurt For Lent @alola_rychu
Every Country In The World Prepares To Invade Every Other Country In The World If AOC Is Elected President @neohillbilly
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:
Noah Adds Starlink To Ark @twoplus2ischicken
Things Were Better When Protestors Just Burned Bras - Op Ed by Frank T. Rutherford @feralgame
Mamdani's Free Grocery Stores Take All The Fun Out Of Shoplifting - Op Ed By Garth Struddlefeld @amirfauda
Lucky Coincidence: Solution To Crisis Happens To Be Exactly What The Democrats Wanted To Do Anyway @baberahamlincoln
Canadian Hockey Team Seeks Asylum In U.S. From MAID @toejamfootball
In Old Yeller Remake, Liberal Tearfully Puts Down Dog To Appease Muslims @baberahamlincoln
Pope Leo Reminds Catholics Taco Bell Is Still Acceptable If Giving Up Meat For Lent @Israel
Atheists Introduce Vid-Devil, Censors Everything But The Swear Words @bryanfosmire
Conservative High School Student Still Waiting To Be Let Out Of School To Protest Abortion @drconservativeprof
-
BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
Ethiopian Eunuch Told That He Cannot Be Baptized Now, Must Wait Until Baptism Sunday Event @lpathehuman
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments below.
